Sunday, June 15, 2014

Talking to the Dead

Many times since my husband Paul passed away I have spoken to him out loud as if he could hear me. Mostly I say things like "Wow! You wouldn't believe what just happened." or "Well, I guess you were right about that." I have even had a few choice words to say when something breaks around the house that I have no idea how to fix.

Just the other day I was trying to reattach the belt to the vacuum when I yelled "Why didn't you show me how to do this? This is the worst vacuum I have ever seen!" Of course, I never get a reply, but I can imagine that he would say something like "Don't tell me about it, you are the one who wanted to buy that vacuum."

When Paul first passed away I would go to bed at night and say "Goodnight" to him. It wasn't because I expected a response, but because it was what I was used to. I guess it made me feel close to him. In some ways it's the same reason I sometimes want to hold on to my grief, I'm afraid if I stop grieving I will forget the one man in my life who loved me most.

I recall at one of the first grief support groups I attended there were a couple of women talking about going to see a well-known medium in hopes of a chance to "speak" to their dead husbands. My reaction at the time was "Whoa, I'm in the wrong group and I'm out of here!"  As I look back I can understand why they felt such a need to hear something from their loved one. They just weren't ready to let them go.

People can sometimes be so desperate to hear from a deceased loved one that they make a complete error in judgement and seek a medium.

What could the dead tell the living that would be of any consequence unless it's "Oh Honey, I forgot to tell you that I have a million dollar insurance policy, or, I left that winning Lotto ticket in my pants pocket, so don't give them to the Goodwill."  I haven't heard that story on the news. No, the deceased just sends a message to their loved one that they "love them." Didn't they know that already?

Ecclesiastes 9:5 "For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even the memory of them is forgotten."  Sound harsh? My husband hasn't said anything to me since he passed away. He no longer receives a pension, can buy a new car, live in our home,  or receive any good thing from this world, and in another of couple generations his descendants will look at his picture and say "Who is that?"

To me he is a precious memory that I keep alive by watching videos and looking at pictures and remembering all the great times we had together. But consulting a medium to talk to him? Here are a couple things the bible has to say about the subject:

Leviticus 19:31 - "Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God."

Leviticus 20:6 - "I will set my face against the person who turns to mediums and spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, and will cut him off from his people."

Isaiah 8:19 - "When men tell you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God? Why consult the dead on behalf of the living?"

I Chronicles 10:13-14 - "Saul died because he was unfaithful to the Lord; he did not keep the word of the Lord and even consulted a medium for guidance and did not inquire of the Lord.  So the Lord put him to death and turned the kingdom over to David."

In 1 Samuel 28, Saul visited the Witch of Endor and sought to bring Samuel back from the dead. In Matthew Henry's commentary regarding this account, he states, "Those that expect any good counsel or comfort otherwise than from God, will be as wretchedly disappointed as Saul was."

Acts 16:16 - Once when we were going to the place of prayer, we were met by a slave girl who had a spirit by which she predicted the future. She earned a great deal of money for her owners by fortune-telling. 17)This girl followed Paul and the rest of us, shouting "These men are servants of the Most High God, who are telling you the way to be saved." 18) She kept this up for many days. Finally Paul became so troubled that he turned around and said to the spirit, "In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to come out of her!"

2 Corinthians 11:14-15 - "for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising then if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness."

1 Timothy 4:1 - "The spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons."

Satan masquerading as an angel of light, deceiving spirits, things taught by demons?  There is NOTHING I need to know or say, not even curiosity that can persuade me to seek out a spiritist. Not even that Vacuum cleaner belt!

If this doesn't seem right to you, follow the example of the Bereans and examine the scriptures to find the truth.

Acts 17:11 -"Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true."

Be blessed!


  1. Good post - the parable of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 19-31) tells us that scripture is where we need to go for comfort, guidance and support. Our true friends share His Word with us putting as the body of Christ. Thanks for sharing - God Bless you.

  2. I so agree -I have a dear friend here who says she talks to her husband all the time and I sort of gave her a strange look. She then asked "don't you believe in talking to your husband?" Kindly I replied - _ _ _ scriptures doesn't support this.- We have the wonderful promise that God is a God of the Widow, he promises us in his word he will visit the widow of affliction. God Bless - Dodi