It was as if he knew what I had been thinking because he said to me, "What if I could erase your past and give you a clean slate? You could start your life all over again."
"Impossible." I said. "Sure, I have day dreamed about it a few times, but it's impossible."
"Is it?" He said.
He had such a smooth and gentle voice. His words sounded like the waves of the ocean when he spoke. So calming and soothing. I had never heard a voice like that before. It almost made me forget where I was and what we were even talking about. I just wanted him to say something else so I could hear that voice again.
"I know the life you've had, all the things you've been through, and I'm here to help you." He said.
Oh, that voice, I could listen to him talk all day!
"I can change your life, erase your past, and give you a new future. I can erase the divorce from your childhood sweetheart that left you BROKENHEARTED." He said.
And then I thought I saw sparkle in his eye, as he smiled and threw back his head, and said "Oh, and remember how you thought you were going to be rescued from being a single mom by that guy you met at church? That didn't turn out too well, did it?" It almost seemed as if he were trying to keep from laughing, as he said "that left you a TWO TIME LOSER."
I no longer thought he was beautiful, gentle or soothing. I was a little ticked off and started to walk back to the house.
"Wait," He said. He seemed to magically erase the ridicule from his eyes. He was back to being tender and his voice now softened as he said, "Please, I'm just trying to help you by getting you to think about your past."
He said, "I felt so bad for you all those years you worked to raise your five children alone, and how it broke your heart to leave them at home when they were sick. I know how it hurt you when your teenagers lashed out from their pain and left their faith for a while." And when he said those words, "left their faith for a while" I thought I saw that sparkle in his eye again.
He continued, "and then, after finally finding your Knight, someone who loved you, to see him die of pancreatic cancer. I'm sorry that left you with a new name of WIDOW." He said, as he looked down at the ground and shook his head.
A new name, a new name... where have I heard that phrase before. I just couldn't seem to pull it out of my head. Must be that widows fog everyone talks about. "You seem like a nice enough man," I told him, "and I have dreamed of a do-over now and again, but where does God fit into this new life? He has been with me through all of these trials you talked about and has lifted me up when I felt like I was drowning. So, what about Him?" I asked.
I heard this handsome, smooth talkers' voice go up a couple octaves as he blurted out "God? Where was God when your husband left you with five children? Where was God when you married again? Why didn't he tell you not to do it? Where was God when your teenagers turned away? Where was God when your husband died? It seems that God has left you with many names that you did not ask for, divorcee', two time loser, heartbroken, single mom, widow."
I have to admit, I felt pretty dejected hearing all those names this man had given me, but in the back of my mind I kept hearing that phrase "A NEW NAME," knowing I had heard it somewhere before.
I decided I'd ask him a few questions, like for starters, "Exactly how are you going to do this? Give me a new life, I mean?" "I have a lot of power in this world." he said. Okay, I thought, just for kicks, I'll keep up the conversation. "So," I said, "what do I have to do?" "Well," he said, "the first thing you have to do is serve me." "Serve you?" I said. Sorry, Mr. Smooth Talker, I don't serve man." "Excuse me," he retorted, "but I think you are mistaken. Aren't you the one who wants to please everyone, make everyone happy? Don't you want everyone to like you?" \
"Okay, I guess you've got me there." I said. I could tell he was full of himself then, But I decided to ask him one more question, "Tell me, if I let you fix my life now, what about my ETERNAL life, will I lose it?"
He looked me straight in my eyes and said "Oh, you will not surely die."
Yikes! I know where I've heard that before!
"Humm, I said, "Is that an apple you're holding in your hand?" At that he smiled big, showing all his pearly white teeth; and as he walked away, I thought I heard him mumble something like, "I'll see you later Eve."
Then my widows fog lifted and I remembered, I am getting a new name!
"To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it."